In those days, children were less and less eager to go to school. In morning, sluggish, I puzzled over preparation of an exquisite breakfast, and she did not even bother to look at it. Just looking at time, I put it off, and for a long time I did not want to go to school. On way to school, there were also various delays. It seemed that legs and feet could not be lifted, and they were fully moving forward. The consequences of being late seemed completely ignored by her. When I got to school gates, I was even more reluctant to enter campus. I think campus was more of an execution site for her at time.
Finally, one day child did not sleep all night, and in morning he said that he did not feel well and could not go to school at all. But he did not dare to stay at home, because his father was still at home. If dad knew that she does not go to school because she does not sleep all night, he would definitely scold her for fact that she only knows how to play games, does not strive for progress, is lazy and lazy, and only knows how to gnaw old ones. He does not hear and does not see heart and pain of child. The children are afraid of him.
"Mom, take me out, I'll go to library, or find a quiet place, and I can study on my own. But I really don't want to go to school, it hurts too much, I don't dare stay at home, you know. I'm so tired , I want to stop, I want to take a break..."
That day, I again skipped classes with my child. We went to Wuhou Temple. In quiet environment of Wuhou Temple, we found a place to sit down, listening to chirping of birds and murmur of water, child also seemed very quiet. She looked into distance and quietly said, "If time stops at some point."
But all day I was restless and restless, I didn't know if it was right or wrong to accompany my child to skip classes and didn't know what to do next. The emergence of all this completely deviated from rut of my expectations of children.
I can't know if child is already in pain, but I force child to go to school, and I just want to accompany him like this. I also thought: it would be great if time stopped at this moment!
I told child about my conflicted mood and internal anxiety, and child again told me that every day at school felt like this and spent it like that.
I don't want her to go to school in pain every day, I want to help child, but I don't have any direction or ideas and I feel exhausted. I wondered how I was escorted and raised, I felt downtrodden, defeated, and I felt gutted and gutted.
Looking back now, at that time, I was so powerless, helpless, ignorant and helpless, how could I help my child. My low energy state directly lowered my child's energy. Although I accompany her like this, it is also a kind of delay, a kind of unnecessary waiting. I look forward to when miracle will reappear after child has rested for a few days, and will give mea child full of energy - to actively go to school, with excellent grades, and perceive studies and exams as a joyful and interesting thing. As well as other children.
My mind is filled with brutal reality and beautiful fantasies.
I accompanied my child to visit Wuhou Temple and then went to Jinli to eat various snacks, thinking of making child happy and cheer up. However, no matter how much food she usually likes to eat, that day she only symbolically tasted it, answered with a forced smile and whispered to me: Thank you, mother! But I'm ashamed of word "thank you."
Now that we talk about those days from time to time, it still hurts because I still remember that feeling. However, a good-hearted child is filled with gratitude and pride. She said: “She feels that her mother is very wonderful because she is sure that few mothers can be like her mother. Skip lesson. She said: “Although my mother was a child of all stripes, I still thank my mother for choosing to stand by her and support her when she did not want to go to school.