At noon, I suddenly felt very angry, irritable, irritable, and more angry. It feels like it's about to explode. I hastened to avoid my children and husband so as not to harm innocent. I sat at table alone.
Stop, take a deep breath
I started to figure out why I suddenly got angry?
My daughter, who was supposed to have an online class in morning, said while playing: "Don't tell me to work hard or anything like that. The more you talk, more you turn off. I don't. I don't want to either." work hard."
I went home from store, but my husband hasn't woken up yet, so I don't want to go for a nucleic acid test
I sat down and wanted to read a book for a while, but I was so annoyed that I couldn't read it, and an unknown fire ran across ground...
I think my daughter doesn't want to progress. If this continues, she will not be able to enter high school or university. Will she be like this for rest of her life?
I think my husband is selfish and inconsiderate. He never helps me around house except for sleeping and looking at his cell phone.
This is my opinion of them, this is what I have in my head.
In face of unloved words and actions, I decided to play role of God to judge and blame others.
I'm angry because in my head I'm interpreting behavior of a husband and daughter: one is unmotivated and other is selfish.
Why? Why do I have such an idea? My daughter does not strive for progress, and my husband is selfish, how does this affect me? How do I want them to look?
I become aware of my feelings and needs
Seeing my husband being selfish and my daughter not progressing makes me feel resentful, sad and see no hope.
Of course, I hope that my daughter will be shy, self-disciplined, study well, get good grades, and be able to do her own thing without me worrying. I need my daughter to take care of herself and not let me worry about her. I need her to understand how hard it is for my mom.
I hope my husband will help me share housework and take care of my daughter. I need my husband to accompany me and take care of me,
I don't need to spend all my time with my husband and daughter, I need to have my time and do what I want.
Now I know what I need.
Actually, at this point, I feel like anger in my heart has faded. I thought I needed to talk to my husband and daughter about my feelings and needs. Instead of directly scolding my daughter, yelling at my husband and dragging my husband upstairs, as I had experienced before. Of course, there is only one outcome in this situation, and a big battle is inevitable.
express your feelings and needs
In afternoon, I took opportunity to chat with my husband.
"Husband, there is an epidemic at home, and you never leave your mobsilly phone. I feel so resentful, like a poor little daughter-in-law whom no one loves. Can you spend more time with me and my daughters?"
My husband was amused by my offended expression: "Okay, I see, should I cook tonight?"
Of course you do, but only fools don't.
The daughter came up and said, "I feel like my mother is angry at noon!"
"Well, yes, I was uncomfortable then. I'm worried about what will happen if you don't want to work hard?"
"Well, alas, I'm just saying don't take it seriously, when you're old, I'll give you a pension." The daughter left with a smile.
Writing here, midday anger has been completely released, replaced with "someone will cook dinner" and "someone will take care of you when you're old." Hooray, victory ✌