Out of fear, I helped my kids skip class together.

About a day after National Day in 2019, a high school first grader suddenly stopped on his way to school and said to me very seriously and frightened, "Mom, I don't want to go to school. I'm really scared."

I was puzzled by sudden words of child: I don't want to go to school, I'm very afraid? ! The child stood in front of me in horror, rubbing his hands, looking at me nervously, as if expecting punishment. This look of helplessness and fear is still clearly remembered. I feel puzzled and puzzled. A child who has always behaved well-mannered and reasonable, his academic performance is not bad, and he has never heard any complaints from a child at school, and teacher does not have such reviews. Why does he suddenly not want to go to school?

"Baby, what happened?" I asked with concern.

"No," child said in a low voice.

"Why don't you want to go to school all of a sudden?" I asked carefully.

"It wasn't all of a sudden, it was for many days, but I just didn't dare to say it. Today I'm afraid that if I don't say anything, I'll find a way to go home when I go to school, or it will happen something bad,” child said with difficulty and pain.

It suddenly seemed to me that I was thinking about something. The child has indeed become a bit quiet lately. He lowers his head when he comes home from school and looks lethargic. Initially, a lively and cheerful child seemed to change unconsciously.

I have a bad feeling: is baby sick? I asked child: Where do you feel uncomfortable? are you ill? We can take a break to visit doctor.

However, child told me: she does not know what is wrong, she does not seem to have any discomfort in her body, but she is afraid and afraid, and she is nervous and uncomfortable all time. She refused to go to hospital because she thought she was fine. I just don't want to go to school.

I feel child's pain and I want to protect him. But right now, if you don't go to school, how can you ask teacher for time off? If you don't go to school, how can you tell your child's father that child doesn't want to go to school? If you don't go home, where will you go all day? I was afraid of teacher, I was afraid of child's father... I was suddenly more frightened than ever before. Also at that moment I felt fear of child. So, I made a decision: today we will ask teacher to say that we are not feeling well and will not go to school, while we will pretend that we are going to school without telling father of child. I want to take my child to skip a lesson for day, I want to know what happened to child, why is he afraid to go to school?

That day child was carrying a briefcase and we took bus to library. The children are doing their homework in library, and I am looking for books to read.

I try to communicate with child, trying to understand changes in child.

"Darling, did you say that you haven't wanted to go to school for a few days? Are you scared at school?"

"Yes, I feel like I can't listen to class, II feel that my classmates will say something about me, and I don’t want to talk to classmates, I feel that I am alone ... But, I have to pretend that I have nothing, and They are together, but I really don’t by yourself, can you understand this feeling? No, you can't understand..."

"Every night I think about going to school tomorrow and I feel anxious and afraid so I can't sleep and I have to stay up very late every night."

"I'm afraid to go home too, I'm afraid to tell you that I don't want to go to school, I know that you can't accept it, and you won't agree, especially dad"

Listening to statement of child, I really can not believe that all this is true, and I do not understand how it happened?

I was wondering why this is happening? I can not find slightest reason, on other hand, I was seized with even greater fear, how can I explain all this to father of child, he is so stubborn, how can he trust child, and how can I communicate with caregiver about child? Pain in soul. ..

Even today, I took my child to play truant, and I still have not recovered - I actually allowed and even agreed with my child to skip lesson! I'm nervous and afraid, I'm afraid that something will come out, I'm afraid that today's "unreasonable" behavior will be discovered by teacher and child's father, and then they will blame me and child. I'm sure they won't believe their child's words, they won't understand their child's pain, and they won't be able to feel their child's feelings.

"Baby, you know? I'm really scared right now too. I don't know how to look your father in eyes when I get back, and how to tell him about our behavior today and your situation." was same in front of my children. Powerless and helpless.

"You know? Mom, you only feel this way today, and I, I have been experiencing such fear every day lately, I'm afraid I can't stand it anymore," child said. vaguely explain. My heart was again deeply wounded by child's words.

When it was time to leave school, we took bus home.

"Mom, thank you today, thank you for letting me skip classes, thank you for skipping classes with me. I guess only my mom can do such things to help children skip classes. I feel better , Tomorrow I will go to school."

Listening to words of child, I did not relax, on contrary, I felt that everything was just beginning.

Related

Out of fear, I helped my kids skip class together.

Out of fear, I helped my kids skip class together.

About a day after National Day in 2019, a high school first grader suddenly stopped on his way to school and said to me very seriously and frightened, "Mom, I don't want to go to school. I'm really scared." I was puzzled by sudde...

  • 06 September 2023
Why do so many kids drop out of school because of depression?

Why do so many kids drop out of school because of depression?

Many parents don't understand why their children suddenly can't go to school and stay at home? Conflicts between some children and their parents become more intense and they even insult, fight violently, beat furniture, etc.; isol...

  • 02 August 2023
getting my daughter out of depression

getting my daughter out of depression

In June, we successfully passed high school entrance exams, and then visited several vocational high schools and participated in interviews. Finally, we chose two as our final picks and are now waiting for results. In terms of ch...

  • 02 August 2023
Mom plans future, I plan to leave - you know what your kids think

Mom plans future, I plan to leave - you know what your kids think

It was two years ago, my daughter was about to go back to school after a few months away. While taking my daughter for follow-up appointments for medication and psychological counseling, I contacted school about returning to schoo...

  • 02 August 2023
Why Am I So Inferior, Shy, and Cowardly——A Study of Origin Family (1): Mother in My Eyes

Why Am I So Inferior, Shy, and Cowardly——A Study of Origin Family (1): Mother in My Eyes

In that era, and in a family where boys preferred girls, my mother bore me two younger sisters and three daughters. My father was a rural worker and part-time electrician, so he was too busy at home all day. I met my very capable ...

  • 02 August 2023
My husband and I gave children an ice cellar.

My husband and I gave children an ice cellar.

I feel like sky came crashing down when my child was suspended from school after being diagnosed My life has ceased to be fun, and world has become boring. To save child, I put all my energy into it. I tried my best to do what I t...

  • 31 August 2023
The class teacher angrily accused child of depression, and wise mother successfully resolved conflict

The class teacher angrily accused child of depression, and wise mother successfully resolved conflict

When child was out of school, head teacher unexpectedly called mother L. and emotionally told her: “Mom L., you must immediately come to school. Your child said he had insomnia last night. I asked him why. Insomnia, he refused to ...

  • 14 August 2023
Don't forget why I went in first place - my connection with Tutiao.

Don't forget why I went in first place - my connection with Tutiao.

Looking back on my time with my depressed daughter over past few years, I have mixed feelings. Those who have not experienced this cannot imagine and understand this feeling. Fortunately, despite fact that we have stumbled and tak...

  • 17 August 2023
They are all children coming out of severe depression - ABC of growth stories of children with depression.

They are all children coming out of severe depression - ABC of growth stories of children with depression.

The child is depressed and does not attend school. Can he get better? When will it get better? How can I help my child get well? This question worries many parents of children with depression. Today I had honor of meeting three c...

  • 02 August 2023
Accompanying my daughter into depression, I stepped on countless holes in those years (Part 1)

Accompanying my daughter into depression, I stepped on countless holes in those years (Part 1)

Parents who have a child with depression may find it difficult to accompany a child. We do our best to meet various needs of child or for good of child, but we do not get a good word from parents. child. In fact, maybe we never th...

  • 02 August 2023