Last night I heard a child say that there is a gang of three in class, three girls who gossip a lot and like to gossip about other people's business, and child doesn't like them very much.
The child said that at first he was bored and did not want to talk to them, but suddenly he found it very interesting and even a little excited: "I can have fun with them." Hearing this, I was nervous and felt very uncomfortable. My biggest fear is that she will "cause trouble!"
I said: Do you want to know how I feel when you say this? Child: I have lingering fearsMe: Yes, that's for sureChild: Then you just pray that they don't talk about me, otherwise it won't be so easy to talk about me. Looking at "smirk" on child's face, I felt very uneasy. "Well, I hope they won't provoke our classmates"Later I kept thinking about it. —— Why am I so afraid that children will cause problems at school?
——Because you are afraid of conflicts, you are afraid of trouble, you are afraid of trouble, you are afraid of causing trouble, and you are afraid that others will disturb you, you are timid and insecure! said voice. —yes—so you are careful and cautious—yes—do you want your children to be like you? —— No, I don't want my children to be like me
——But in your heart you hope that your child will not cause trouble, you hope that he will keep his place even if others provoke her, you also hope that he will calm down—— Yes——You are timid and afraid of getting into trouble Son, because you were rejected, scolded, ignored and asked to be honest, not to make mistakes and not to cause trouble for your family when you were young, you also feel inferior because of- for this. It's all your business. Hug you when you were a child: "You worked hard, thank you!". However, now that you have grown up, you do not want your child to be like you, so interpersonal relationships of child are left to his discretion. Fears lurk in your heart, and your caution does not have a positive effect on it, but a negative effect that is powerless.
——How can I do this? —— Believe in children, he has his own principles of life. He said he asked you to pray that Gang of Three would not speak to him. This means: if others do not provoke him, he will not provoke others first, but if he is provoked by others, he will definitely fight back, and, by way, "have fun". So you can tell him clearly: We don't create problems, but we are never afraid of trouble! Give him positive energy, and at same time, let him feel that you are standing next to him, which is powerful. —Okay, thanks for the guidance. It gives me energy and also gives energy to my children.