Baby Diary

My best friend's daughter got married and sent out an invitation early. Another good friend I haven't seen in a while and plan to stay for one night since we haven't seen each other for a long time and we have too much to talk about.

Even though my daughter doesn't go to school, she doesn't want to participate in these activities, and my husband never attends my friends' activities, so I have to go alone.

However, since my daughter got sick, I have never left her, and I am always with her. As long as she needs, I will be there, always in touch.

I'm a little awkward this time:

I really want to get together with my girlfriends and good friends, but at same time I'm worried about leaving my daughter at home. I worry that she will need me at any moment. If she fails to do so, she thinks that her father does not understand her and cannot support her.) She is especially troubled by her sudden and unreasonable emotional problems.

What should I do? I started wondering about this a few days ago, is there best of both worlds!

Hey, there really is.

Wasn't my daughter able to travel long distances by high-speed rail alone day before yesterday? So, this time we can start another challenge: mom is not at home, and baby must try to accompany and take care of himself, and most importantly, try to separate from mom! Just like day before yesterday my daughter left for Neijiang alone and had to rush back that night. I knew that she was not used to living in other people's houses, and she was not used to being without a mother. She said, "I have to go home at night because my mother is at home." So, this time it is also an opportunity, an opportunity to have an experience that can inspire and empower children?

I discussed this with my daughter in advance, she was a little unhappy at first and resisted. The night she returned from Neijiang, a friend called me and asked if I had decided to stay for one night. At this time, my daughter also heard call and asked me: is this your good friend? Would you like to spend night with them?

I was honest about my needs: "Yes, they're all my mom's classmates since elementary school. My mom hasn't seen them in years. This time we want to get together and have a good chat." In doing so, I also send a request to my daughter: “Can I ask my child for day off?” (This is use of four elements of Nonviolent Communication and application of request. I also learn and practice.)

"Then go, mom, I think aunts must miss you too." This time, daughter did not hesitate.

"However, mother is still a little worried about child, mother is not at home, what if child needs a mother?" I expressed my concern frankly.

"It's okay, it's just for one night, I'll take care of myself, don't worry!" My daughter looked very relaxed and confident and I saw her daughter regain her improved energy. My daughter is like that, I think I can trust my daughter, and at sametime I see that I don't want my child to experience this and I'm always worried about what didn't happen. Now what I need is to comfort and encourage my "restless heart". Realizing this, I made a quick decision.

So, I agreed to meet my girlfriends and friends as promised. When we left, my daughter hugged me and told me to be safe, not to talk too late at night and interfere with my sleep, and not to eat too spicy food or food that could cause me allergies (she knows I'm allergic). I joked: my mother is not so verbose when my daughter leaves, but when my mother leaves, my daughter becomes an old woman.

My daughter smiled awkwardly, "Actually, I'm really worried about you without me by your side!"

At eleven o'clock in evening, my daughter sent me a message: "Mom, before going to bed, you should wish me good night."

At twelve o'clock I went to bed, and I wrote to my daughter: Baby, mom goes to bed, good night

Good night, Mom! I love mom

Good night, baby! i love baby

The next day, when I got home, my daughter was having dinner. She said that her mother was not at home and everything was fine with her, except that she went to bed late.

I'm grateful for another successful challenge. For me, for my daughter.

Thanks to this incident, I realized one more thing: not my daughter depends on me, but I depend on her.

The last two attempts to let go proved fact that as long as children have some strength and energy, they are ready to challenge and experience life, and they need to gain a sense of value and control from this. energy and strength were again accumulated and perfected. What a significant thing.

So be it! Yourself, as well as parents of teenage children! Let's walk path of awareness and awareness together.