Baby Diary

Dao Yaer's personal experience: A good relationship between husband and wife, a harmonious and warm home is a good medicine for children suffering from depression to recover.

I wrote earlier that I started my learning journey. In my opinion, this is path of self-help. All behavior that I used to consider complacent was just a movement of myself. After I started exercising, I had a feeling: I got sick too! And very sick! Medicines need to be taken not only by my daughter, but also by me! My medicine comes from my self-awakening!

This article may make some friends uncomfortable today, but this is really my real experience, I just want to share my real experience and feelings, I don't want to deceive myself. I also think that if I don't dig deep into my problems, go through these convulsive pains and go through process of introspection, I won't be able to see myself, my family, my husband. , and my children. No matter what problem is, I can't find a clue to solve problem.

Am I wrong? Why should I?

A friend once said, "If a child has a problem, it's child's problem. I don't like parents who always blame themselves for their mistakes." We raise children, give them food, clothes, games and get what they want, are we still wrong? They know how to reciprocate their kindness, but instead they blame us and attack us, what is wrong with us! Really, I used to think what was wrong with us? I don't and won't admit that I was wrong. Because I worked so hard for my children, husband and family. In addition, as a wife, I have to go to work, take care of children and take care of family, it's okay if my husband does not help me, and I have to please my husband, why should I? I have to take care of emotions and feelings of my children and husband, but what about me, I also need someone to love and love, who will understand my feelings? I once got into these confusions and could not get out, and could not find answer, why should I?

Home is a place where love is not a reason!

This is a sentence that I learned deeply after studying for a period of time. When you understand what you really need is a warm and harmonious home, a home where children can be themselves freely without closely following expressions of their parents, a home where husband will not miss street after work, instead of going upstairs when he's in car. , this is a house full of joy and laughter, not lifelessness. Maybe in front of your husband and children you will not care what is good and what is not, what you win or what you lose, and you will not feel offended, because you look so confident and beautiful without complaining! You will be proud of your determination, sense of accomplishment not only at work, but also thanks to a good family, you will feel happy.

However, what process must go through in exchange for such a transformation?

Growing pains

Thankslearning, you will see that origin family's parenting pattern results in our various restrictive beliefs, various indelible marks left by conflicts in origin family, and labels we were given when we were children. Unconsciously followed us. as we grow up and influence our lives, personal logic you formed to become an "adaptive child" when you were young made you feel so annoying and your parents' values ​​affect your lifestyle, parental way of doing things, which you didn't really like, was completely copied by you...

You will also see that as an adult you are still dominated by your inner child; when you see that your inner child is so helpless, you may feel sorry for this child and want to hug him, you may also get angry and scold her, why can't she be stronger, so weak, but still controlling your adult behavior.

You will also find that because you come from different families, have different backgrounds and experiences, and different ways of understanding and expressing love, there are so many differences between you and your lover that you constant conflicts. It's not really that you don't love each other, it's just that your love doesn't make other person feel loved, but because of that, you blame and pick on each other, torture each other, and fall into a cycle of pain.

You will begin to think: what kind of people are you and your beloved? Brave, wise, strict, hardworking, diligent, honest, imaginative and imaginative, confident, sunny, gentle, progressive, optimistic, positive... or timid, humble, cowardly, tolerant, cunning, lazy, rebellious, lonely, confused , negative , complaints, anxiety, pessimism, sadness, caution... Do you still see each other's strengths?

What do you think I'm worried about? How is your child feeling today? Your child's education? Is child eating and sleeping well? child's future? Does your husband treat you badly? Bad for kids? Husband is useless and drags you down? Or are you worried that your child's husband is out of your control? Your frustration, your sense of worthlessness...

This is process of scraping and healing bone. During this period, you may be very uncomfortable, you may complain, blame, get angry, attack... You may also feel hurt, innocent, helpless, crazy... All sorts of feelings will come flooding in and make your heart ache. Then learn from pain and you will get something that will help you grow.

After saying so much, let me make one point: we are not going to blame original family and parents, but through education we learn to take a holistic approach to problem solving and to be grateful to our parents for their help. in this objective environment. In our lives, use our awareness to rewrite decisions of our young children, andchange our limiting beliefs, re-educate our inner children, reconcile with our original family... It doesn't matter what experience you have, what matters is how you interpret it!

As for me, through my own awareness and awakening, I try to change myself and make myself peaceful and calm. I try to change what I can and accept what I can't. At same time, I also hope that through my changes, I will be able to give my daughter a relatively good home family environment for her, which is also one of important goals of my research.

By way, during this period there is another very important topic, namely:

Characteristics of puberty, features of puberty, psychological and emotional development of puberty

It helped me better understand and understand my teenage daughters and I was able to see world in their eyes more clearly from a children's point of view. This undoubtedly gave me golden key to open children's world, so that I no longer had to secretly spy on children's heart.

Probably main content of this section

(to be continued)