The one who lives without trivial matters, whose life is not trivial. And me, just fooling around like this, I swear I'll tie chicken feathers in a feather duster to blow off and clean up dust.
Daughter and dad have been living peacefully and peacefully together for some time now, and that's what we all would like to see.
However, people are made up of various emotions and experiences, and from time to time they must splash and flow. The same applies to child and father of child.
Yesterday, my dad was at wedding of my cousin's daughter. The host was not invited to wedding ceremony. The teacher's sister-in-law insisted that wedding be very lively. It was like a massive K song, free performances. , and relatives and friends volunteered to take lead to show their talents, so lively.
Walking home at night, I heard that his sister's daughter might get married.
This morning my daughter was playing violin in her room, a new piece recently taught by her teacher. Dad came over, interrupted his daughter's piano lessons and asked her to rehearse another piece of music: "Let her perform at her cousin's wedding!"
"No, why should I perform when she's getting married?" Because she was interrupted, her daughter was upset. After listening to alignment of her father, she was even more upset, and indeed she was not familiar with this cousin at all.
"Does it bother you that you can't train well? Do you have a few more months?" Dad didn't give up.
"It's not that I can't practice well, it's that I don't want to practice! I have a rehearsal tune!" My daughter objected and answered.
"Why can't I learn another piece? Can't I learn a piece of music in a few months?" Dad said.
"Why should I study? I won't study anymore!" The daughter got angry and put down piano.
"After learning so much, I can't play any music!" Dad left a little angrily.
I was in kitchen and heard whole argument between two of them. I'm not going to interfere, my principle - let them figure it out themselves.
However, due to my non-participation, my daughter came to kitchen in tears to find me: Are you just watching him mock me like that? You didn't help me either, did you? You also think that I can't play any piece of music well, do you?
Responding to my daughter's question, I told her, "I don't agree with my father's statement that my daughter can't play any piece of music well. I know and heard that my daughter can play a lot of pieces."< /p>>
"But why don't you stand up and tell truth?" The daughter was crying and screaming.
"You can tell him what songs you know, or you can prove it to him with facts!" - I said.
"You just don't want to help me, or you don't dare to speak at all because you're afraid of him, you're a coward... you can't help me." said sadder shemelted, and she burst into tears.
"My child must be very sad and hurt because my father said that my child cannot play a piece of music! My father heard my daughter play a song, but he said something like that. .." I tried to empathize with my daughter.
"I don't want to see him, I don't want to hear him speak. It always hurts me in front of him! I hate him, I hate him!", daughter said, crying.
"What do you want your mom to do? How can I help you?" I looked at my daughter and said with great care.
"Get divorced and live separately!", - said daughter.
"You want us to get a divorce, do you think we can solve problem of divorce?" I want to test her thoughts for my daughter
"I don't know!" - answered daughter
"How about I think about it and see if there's a better way? May I?" I said.
"You're afraid of him, you can't get a divorce, you don't work, you can't earn money, you can't get a divorce, you're too cowardly, you can't help me at all." Daughter lifted her face full of tears, Look at me and say. Both facial expressions and words express disappointment and helplessness.
I felt like I was pierced with a needle. I gave myself a few seconds to slow down.
"Whether you say Mom is cowardly or afraid of him, that's your thought. I'm not denying your thought, but Mom, I know if I'm cowardly!" I also looked my daughter in eyes and seriously explained. “You want me to take your side, confront him, and then there was a big quarrel in family, right? Or do you want me to go to him now and ask him to take back his words, and if he does not admit it, I will talk to him again. Big quarrel. Would it be easier for you if I had a real fight with him? Or would you be more afraid to see mom and dad have a big fight? my daughter calmly and calmly, as in discussion, sort of asked her opinion.
The daughter gradually calmed down and stopped crying.
"Baby, I'll go and talk to dad about this. You have right to reject dad's proposals and agreements. You're not wrong. As far as dad wants you to speak, it's his idea. We don't agree, and you don't have to worry about it."
Looking back, I approached my husband and asked, "Why do you insist that your daughter play violin at your niece's wedding? The child said no, but you keep insisting? What do you think?">
"I just want to give her a chance to show it." The husband's wish was rejected by daughter, and he was also angry with daughter due to an unpleasant quarrel.
"You want her to show off and you want her to perform well and everyone applauds and praises her so you can look good, right? It's like your cousin's daughter's wedding." I think I was too angry. I questioned him mercilessly. My daughter behaved very well as a child, she was praised by family and friends, and her husband was always very proud of her. Ho After his daughter got sick, he saw a lot of things that his daughter didn't like. Now seeing that his daughter is getting better, he is ready to take initiative to take up piano again, and he also thinks that his daughter is good at piano. Is this vanity blown up again? I feel disgusting! I am aggressive.
I don't know if I was exposing my husband's vanity, or he didn't want to argue with me, in short, he didn't justify himself, he just said: whatever you want. If you don't practice, don't practice!
We didn't quarrel.
The daughter gradually calmed down and began to play games.
Then I was left alone, sad and reflecting: for a long time my daughter was not so emotional and frank. It has been a long time since I demanded a divorce and separation from my father. Was it only her father's words that spurred her on? Or are there accumulated emotions that were not directed in time? Or is it just repetition on road to recovery? Or multiple factors?
Or it's just an episode from life, a conflict. Then take it as an exercise, an opportunity to grow!