Dao Yaer's personal experience: good relations between husband and wife, a harmonious and warm home - good medicine for a recovering depressive child!
Most of our children with depression are insecure children.
The American psychologist Cummings said: "Children will place great emphasis on emotional interaction between their parents and use it as a basis for judging whether family environment is safe." others in their eyes and hearts. They will share beauty together, take responsibility together, buy vegetables together, cook together, not complain or blame. Then children will feel safe and comfortable living in environment.
I once read a sentence: "Whether a king or a farmer, as long as his family is harmonious, he is happiest man in world." A harmonious and loving family is best gift for children. The best example parents can set for their children is to love each other.
We all look forward to creating a safe and loving environment for our children. But for couples who love each other again, occasional arguments can be inevitable. But do you know what parental quarreling means for children?
A quarrel between parents causes a lot more fear in children than adults can imagine. This is a drastic change in entire family world and a violation of security base. The once safe, warm and close faces suddenly became fierce and vicious - parents have completely changed, they do not pay attention to their own feelings, they no longer care about decay of their frightened hearts, they are indifferently immersed in world. mutual struggle, even if sphere of mutual destruction includes its own voice, which continues to call. It was complete and utter helplessness, shrouded in extreme emotion, how hopeless and cold it was.
Children are afraid of their parents' quarrels, which is rooted in fear of being abandoned by their parents.
So, what can parents do to minimize harm to their children from fighting?
First, if communication can solve a problem, it's best to speak openly. Many problems can be solved with help of communication, because quarrels will only aggravate situation.
Secondly, if quarrels are inevitable, you can try to avoid children and not quarrel in front of them.
Thirdly, if incident happened suddenly and quarrel inevitably took place in front of child, then one must not forget to cure child, explain to him (her) and tell child that quarrel is not his (her) wrong. Do not intentionally hide child, tell him (her) naturally that parents have a different opinion, voice can be a little loud, and adults can decide questions for adults, and we still love you.
Some say: Sometimes children are really affected not by quarrel itself, but by attitude of parents towards their children after quarrel. Parents' expression of love for their children can reduce negative impact of quarrels. I take it for granted.
Psychologist Wu Jihoon once said, "Parents- greatest destiny of children. If parents love each other, children will be full of happiness." Yes, how much we hope to give children happiness.
However, some parents have habitual patterns and unchanging private logic and way of thinking for decades or decades, which leads to constant family conflicts and conflicts. How can they consciously realize how to reduce quarrels But what about harm done to child?
This sentence impressed me most during live broadcast I listened to last weekend. Live with awareness, that is, keep your awareness constantly, slow everything down, give yourself a quiet time to think and rethink, change happens in your one thought.
Remember that best gift parents can give their children is a warm, harmonious and loving home! And our children also need respect, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, support and encouragement from their parents. On way to recovery of child, let's take other half by hand, let's start with fact that we will not quarrel between husband and wife, and we will live consciously!
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