In June, we successfully passed high school entrance exams, and then visited several vocational high schools and participated in interviews. Finally, we chose two as our final picks and are now waiting for results.
In terms of choosing a school, since my daughter's grades weren't in line with a public high school, we also visited several private public high schools. resist. Therefore, she resolutely refused to study at a comprehensive school and chose a vocational school. In addition, through her understanding of vocational high schools, she knows that vocational high schools can also take college and undergraduate examinations. It seems that she is still looking forward to future life of vocational high schools.
In early July, my daughter participated in violin competition at Sichuan branch of China-Belarus International Youth Art Competition, won second place and successfully reached final in Beijing.
For this competition, my daughter took initiative to play piano like never before, continued her piano lessons, and took initiative to think about how to practice piano well. There were also times during this period when I was so irritable that I didn't want to study and wanted to give up, but in end I persisted. As for me, sometimes when I see that she does not train for a day or two, three or four days, I still get very worried and want to remind her that competition is coming up. But I restrained myself and never once reminded her. Because I worry about my emotions and have nothing to do with child, I don't need child's behavior to calm my emotions. Moreover, I clearly understand one thing: child is irritable and does not want to study piano, and my reminder will only be counterproductive, while there is still a division of topics that need to be clarified, so what? Is life not going way it usually does? I also accept. In fact, without my supervision to remind her, daughter settled in nicely, or so she thought.
Today, another article by my daughter was approved and posted to public account. Through my daughter's article, I also saw a daughter who came to terms with herself, saw her courageously confront her misunderstood and unacceptable self, and gained a clearer understanding of her present.
So, I was full of emotions, and my eyes filled with tears.
Because this journey is really not easy for us—
Looking back at road we've traveled over last four years: experience of two suspensions and two return to school; former daughter thought only of death all day; Until now, dozens of large and small scars on hands tell about thorny jungle through which we passed...
Once her letter was full of despair, pessimism, negativity, impotence and utter loss. Seeing no hope and no way outshe plunged into darkness and abyss, felt hopeless, and countless times wanted to give up...
Nevertheless, like all our mothers, I never gave up, even thought, idea of giving up. Because I firmly believe that my daughter will recover and live wonderful life that is hers. Even if my daughter has said countless times that she wants to give up on herself, I still want to give up on her, every time I hug her and tell her everything will be fine, everything will be fine. Mom won't give up on you, and please don't give up on yourself.
When I was frantically searching for a lifeline, I met Du Kuo and my teacher. Since then, it seemed to me that I saw a beam of light, and I took my daughter to chase direction of light.
Even though steps are difficult, we all seem to have been endowed with courage and magic power, just like fighting monsters and upgrading, we have passed every level until today.
We traveled this path for four years. This is also four years of my daughter's life in high school. They say it's four years. Actually, there are probably more days in school than one year. Instead of going to school, it's better to say that it's going to school to survive a disaster. Because school also has different challenges, difficulties and tastes, hers, mine and teachers, which we all experienced together. I think people who haven't experienced these things will not be able to appreciate ups and downs and also language is hard to touch.
She described her life on campus as follows: "Although my high school life was chaotic and fragmented, I am still very grateful to my three homeroom teachers and those teachers who tolerated and understood me. Accept. Although I'm sorry that I'm confused in black dogs, but I'm still lucky, because people who come to me are good people, they didn't dislike me, and they took good care of me, even if I caused a lot of trouble for everyone, but they still protect me. There are also my classmates who were worried about my safety and had to follow me to toilet, which was embarrassing for them, because I was sleepy and hid in an empty classroom and fell asleep, they found me disappeared, frightened, and silently searched for me around campus, when I left, students seemed to be still in shock."...
A few days ago we went to school to get our diploma. I saw my daughter coming out of school gates, raising her certificate and graduation photo and waving to me… A warm stream passed through my heart, and I silently sent my blessing: You are still young! Because I think of her countless times envious classmates who are full of vitality and shake their youth for no reason. She said, "This is what fifteen or sixteen year olds should look like, they should be young! And it's so hard for me to even live a good life." life, with Longing and anticipation of tomorrow, live well."
Today, my daughter is no longer fixated on past suffering. Xalthough sometimes she is still emotional, a little depressed, depressed or irritable, but in general she can cope and process it herself. Sometimes she will call me, I need to spend those moments with her; although most of time she still watches anime and plays games, sometimes she will repeat a few words, solve a few math problems, or write something sloppy; although she still seems to lack perseverance to persevere in one thing, but ultimately violin is best example of our perseverance.
We started learning to play violin when we left school. We wanted to quit in middle several times, and we didn't even go to class or study for several months. However, when she remembered this, she picked it up again, pulled it twice, and on her own initiative contacted teacher in class. She then didn't want to practice anymore, so she told teacher that she wasn't feeling well and wanted to go on vacation, which lasted another one or two months. Here I would like to especially thank our violin teacher. He gave my daughter a lot of support and full recognition. Perhaps because of this, violin has become only project we have insisted on for past four years, and my daughter has also gained a friend-like teacher .
Today, my daughter no longer itched, but began to think about how to heal scar on her arm. She said, "People can't just live in their own world. Since I want to go out, everyone will take care of it and it will give me trouble, so I must also be responsible for myself." I still remember day when scar treatment became known, she said, “Only when heart is broken can past be fixed.”
At this moment, I especially want to thank transitional platform and my teacher for giving me direction and empowering me, helping me lead my daughter out of darkness and walk path of hope. Thank you, thank you!
Yes, in future we still have to face new challenges, but I think everything that we have experienced will give us wisdom, energy, courage and confidence. Therefore, we are not afraid of challenges, challenges make us grow.